Road trip 

We have been down this road before

Questioning when is he coming home

Unfortunately my daughter is starting to question his whereabouts

why we can’t call uncle P

Why we can’t see him when we want

I was afraid to tell her but on this specific visit she expressed to him how much she wants him home

He said it made him sad but

Uncle P had to explain to her that he did something bad and he would be home soon

Relief for me because this answers her questions and I was afraid to tell her

But this is yet another heartbreaking moment for us because we are leaving and he’s not coming home with us yet again

In the beginning, it was so hard for me to go visit and not bring him home with me

As the years have went by, it’s gotten easier

But this affects me more than I think and want to believe

Even though it’s been 9 years and counting; this situation hasn’t been an easy one

We haven’t been able to celebrate birthdays together nor can we have Christmas or Thanksgiving dinners together

And it sucks because that’s what we were used to when we were younger

And it hurts to the core that I can’t call him when I need him the most

But as a sister; I’ve been here for the long hall

Visiting, sending pics and Praying constantly for strength

Because we are in this together

And I’m so thankful for him

Because even though he’s where he is at, he keeps me on my toes with making better choices for my future

And as I always remind myself; I’m thankful that he was placed there because I couldn’t imagine losing him to the streets. I can’t even fathom the thought

If I haven’t learned anything in this process; I’ve learned to stand strong!

I can’t ever say that my brother showed signs of weakness

He knew what he got himself into and he has dealt with the cards he was given

Of course it gets frustrating but he remains positive

He remains strong for us

He gives me encouragement

And I would travel any length of time just to spend some time with him to make his days easier


When starting over 

Learning how to trust again

learning how to be around someone 

learning how to be optimistic and positive in the same breath 

learning someone new and getting to know what they like or what they don’t like 

and not looking on the outside but getting to know who they are on the inside

getting to know who they are for who they truly are and not judging 

and listening to the little things they say and trying to understand things from a new perspective 

because when you meet someone you don’t want to scare them off with your insecurities 

Praying they aren’t like the person who broke you 

Or trying not to bring drama 

accepting the fact that everyone is not like everybody you’ve come across or left behind 

Giving them the benefit of the doubt that maybe this is different 

and that you have to set boundaries and speak up for what you want 

what you don’t want 

what you like 

what you don’t like 

and allow that person to grow 

and just be yourself 

be who you are 

and if they can accept you and your ways, then that person may be worth believing 

Or even worth your time 

And wether things work out or sometimes they don’t 

for the time that they are there 

you learn something new 

that you can share 

and that you can grow from

And it becomes a learning experience for you both

They too, may have gone through something 

And maybe just maybe you can shed some light in their life 

Being a mom 

Being a mom isn’t just about birthing a child 

Being a mom isn’t just about dressing your baby up in fancy clothes 

Or making sure they are keeping up with the latest trends 

It goes beyond that 

It’s about loving your child

In right or wrong

Protecting your child 

From the world that gets cold 

From the world that tries to destroy your dignity 

And tries to steal your joy 

Keeping them safe 

From people who may hurt them 

Teaching them to be able to tell the difference so they can walk away or stand up for themselves 

Allowing your child to overcome childhood and enter adulthood 

Teaching your child how to be strong 

Letting them know that people will take advantage 

To know that things will come their way and you may not be able to protect them 

To help them understand that mommy only wants the best for them 

To help them prepare for what’s to come 

Prepare them for the world, though it may not be enough 

Reminding them that trouble will come but if they push through life gets better 

It’s about praying with your child 

Teaching them how to pray 

To keep God first in everything even when you have nothing 

Teaching them that everything that glitters isn’t always gold 

Being a mom is always doing what is best for your child 

Making sacrifices so they can have a better life 

Reminding them daily that you’re here for them

Spending quality time with your child 

It’s not about buying their love

It’s about building a relationship 

It’s about reminding them daily that you love them 

So that when you let them go in the world, they know what love is 

When you’re a mom, you always wonder if you’re doing what’s best for your child 

As a mother you try to remain sane, even when you’ve thought you’ve lost it 

Being a mom is preparing your child for the worst– as harsh as it may sound 

Being a mom is being a super human that people may never get 

Being a mom is a full time job 

Being a mom brings you a lot of joy

Being a mom is teaching them that love is unconditional 

That love is pure between a mother and a child 

Being a mom teaches you things about yourself that you never knew;

The patience you had to learn 

The decisions you have to make even when you’re not sure they’re the best ones 

The sacrifices you have to think about later

The battles you have to choose when raising your child and that’s in EVERY aspect 

All in all, I say this to say even after all that’s said and done it’s a never ending constant battle 
In making sure you’re doing your best to be the best mom you can be 

Day In 


Day out 

It’s a blessing that only God can give and take away 

Life and its blues 

Two more years until I’m in my 30s

And all of the plans I had written out for myself didn’t go as planned

I wanted my 4 kids. A big wedding. And a happy ever after before I turned 30. Be in my career. Driving my Mercedes. Progressing in my non profit. List goes on.

But I’m down 1 kid who is my life. in the midst of finding myself. trying to figure life out. Finally found a career I’m sticking to

And just Allowing life to happen in the way it’s supposed to happen

I finally get it or at least I think I do

Either way

Some days I have my doubts

Some days I’m weary about what’s going to happen

Or if a decision will benefit me in the long run

And I’m able to look back on a lot of things

And I’m thankful for it all

And this comes into play so well with everyone that’s around me

We are all trying to understand life

What and most importantly why

Some questions may never get answered with the answers we want

But what’s most important is that we move forward and do our best to grow

Grow through life’s tribulations

Understanding that everything happens for a reason

Understanding that everything happened the way it was supposed to

Understanding that time stops for no one and despite the circumstances as long as you’re trying– it’s really all that matters

10 years ago, I had my life planned out

10 years ago, I thought I figured it out

5 years ago, you couldn’t tell me I would be where I am now

5 years ago, I had it figured out

In my mind, it would happen this way!

I question it all the time, despite knowing that I had no control over it

The people that are in my life now

The people that I left behind

The people I wished were here

Places I’ve been

Things I’ve seen

Things I’ve been through

Brings me back to understanding that

Life happened

Taking it for what it is

Again.. growing through it

Accepting what is and what isn’t

Making the best of each moment

And just letting reality be reality

But also being proud of life allowing me to grow

Allowing me to feel

Allowing me to heal

Allowing me to understand

Allowing me to mature

Allowing me to progress

For allowing life to happen…

the way it’s supposed to happen

And trying my very best to understand that it’s happened for a reason