Chapter 29; almost off the calendar

S/o to my photographer

My friend

My sus

For capturing my moments

I fell over and over and over

Sometimes flat on my face

But eventually I’ve gotten back up

So many times I doubt myself

Literally about a lot

But this year

I’ve decided to reclaim my crown, adjust it and I’m going to make it by best year

It’s the last year of my 20s

because I’ll be off the calendar soon

I laughed and then reality hit. It’s true!

Life truly began for me when our mother passed; I was 11

Didn’t know what life would be without her and here we are 17 years later

But by the age of 16, I was literally on my own

Had a lot to fend for, worked harder than I anticipated on ever doing and of course some bumps along the way

I was a woman finally coming out of my shell

I’ve made mistakes that I don’t regret

I’ve made mistakes that I wish had a better turn out

I often look back and wish that I could relive some moments and some I wish I never lived

but all in all

Turning 29 is amazing because I got to see things

been through things

That people probably never would understand

But as I’ve continued writing, I understand my story is more than heartbreak, more than a girl who didn’t have both parents in the household, amongst other things but truly trying to be better

It’s encouraging others to be better and that one day they too can share their story

It’s learning how to love from a distance

Putting things to the side to reach the ultimate goal

It’s getting up every day even when you don’t want to, to try and be better than yesterday

It’s being a better mother,family member or even a friend

It’s learning from my mistakes

Learning from others

Letting go of the past

Even though it hurts

Not letting it define me but creating a better image

Moving forward to the future

Looking beyond the greener side

I am better and I know that with continued prayer and hard work I’ll get where I intend to be

Sometime last year, I saw a post that said

“My mother didn’t teach me how to live without her” and honestly it’s life period

The sad part is they cant teach us how to go through things

We have to GROW through things

It’s okay to let it break you for A MOMENT; it’s okay to not be okay for A MOMENT

No matter how prepared we think we are

How much you think you’re ready

Or how prepared we feel we are for certain things to happen; we just have to understand that life will sporadically happen

Life happens; either you deal with it or you don’t

There’s no way around it

So I say all this to say

That your story is yours

You can’t erase the past, you can only work towards the future

You can’t undo your mistakes, you can only learn from them

Only you wear it well

You can speak about it because you’ve lived it

By the Grace of God

I’m blessed beyond measures

I intend to take all these lessons I’ve learned along the way to be the better version of myself

We don’t truly know how far we’ve come until we sit back and remember the day we said, “I don’t know how I’m going to make it out of this one.”

Fast forward.. I made it through

Happy 29th birthday to me 🎉


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