Traveling thoughts

Place written: Somewhere In Costa Rica

Date: Sunday April 8, 2018

These blogs that I write have always arrived at some point in a conversation I’ve had with someone

Either something the person said or even I said triggered a thought or just brought me back to whatever I went through or going through

I’m constantly battling these thoughts in my mind about becoming a better me, overcoming obstacles, trying to believe more positive than negative, trying to figure myself out while maintaining the relationships I have with people

My mind always wanders

And ever since I could remember my life has been a whirlwind; growing up I had this crazy crazy idea that parents like my mother and father just never got married but my aunts and uncles were married

I automatically assumed that my friends would be in the same predicament I was in

So in my mind I truly and honestly believed that moms and dads were not married but aunts and uncles were

I always wondered if another family in the world were living like us

Did their mom work the same job my mom did?

Did there fathers get sick when they were 3 too?

Years down the line, when my mother passed I wondered if kids my age lost their mom at the same age I did

And with all the friends I had or hung out with the most, everyone had a different story

Everyone comes from a different walk of life

Everyone has a story

Everyone has a past

“Your friend is fighting battles we know nothing about”


“Everyone has a story they don’t want to read out loud”


These unknown quotes ring in my head all the time and brings me to this topic I wanted to share but kept adding more details.

It’s just funny how life happens though

In my mind, I picture things a certain way

I definitely work towards it

But in reality I’m scared

I’m always scared to fail

I’m afraid to do wrong by my child

I’m afraid to let her down

I’m afraid that I’m not good enough or because I am the way that I am; just anything to doubt myself

Growing up; I envisioned certain things becoming my reality and I trained my mind after having my baby that I wanted to be different

We train our minds to believe whatever we want it to believe

People talk themselves into believing things we don’t even want to believe

It also bought me to thinking about some of the people I surrounded myself with or got involved with

How the things we go through molds us into the people we end up becoming

The way we treat people stems from how we were once treated

It’s like the saying, if you know better, you do better but if you don’t then what?

How we are; I see my mom in me in a lot of ways

Even the way I’m raising my child

My thoughts on being married or not married

How we treat the people we love; do we treat them with love

How we are raised in our households

The things we go through affects psychologically more than we believe or know

But what we have been through should be lessons & mistakes we should be able to throw away, right? But it’s not as easy as you think it is unless you’ve been through it; and I can definitely attest to that

They say forget what made you cry and focus on what’s ahead

But Believe it OR not; we are what we consume, we are the energy we let around us and we ARE a product of our environment; it molds us to be who we are

It gives us something to look back on

To take a step back and regain focus as to why you work so hard

Why you would rather work overtime to do things you love and then you have people who don’t have those visions

It makes us become better people

*If not for myself, then for NO ONE*

AND In this thought process, I’ve come to conclude that your past can make OR break your future. We can linger on about the past all we want. However; please remember the saying “We are who we are, but don’t let your past determine your future”

A constant battle I’m forever praying for

to become better for myself and for the people I surround myself with to become better

With how our past affects us

Being more positive and learning from it all

for the people we love and to leave the generation moving forward with good thoughts and better things to grow up on

Morals we didn’t get to instill from our parents, we can be different

Do it for the generation coming up

And in the same breath please also remember that I am a product of progressing to progress because every day I regress but I have to pray to see the bigger picture and let my future be a happier place